OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
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