Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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