No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
