It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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