Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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