There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
from now on my penis is your penis
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
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"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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