have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
