I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize