I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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