I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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