Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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