you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize