I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The beer is more important than you right now.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
