Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
