So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
