Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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