I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
