i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
