Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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