just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
