I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize