before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
