DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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