Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
