I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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