He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
