I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
