what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
