her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
