its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
