we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Found your dick twin last night
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
