I like to think it a success when the cops are called
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
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You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
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I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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