Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cut my penus on the lid.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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