and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I think your dad took our porno
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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