You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize