In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My first STD was from a foam party
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
