so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
