she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
