Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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