Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.

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(303): View more from Colorado

friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.

(904): View more from Florida

FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall

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(705): View more from Ontario

And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".

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(631): View more from New York

You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.

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(303): View more from Colorado

If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams

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(574): View more from Indiana

No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina

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