She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
no more duck duck goose at the bar
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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