I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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