you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
This is my gift to your gina
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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