My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
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Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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