Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize