there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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