She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
