i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
