You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
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While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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