I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize