you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize