it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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