Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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