went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
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I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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