hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
