I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
