Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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