Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
