Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
