I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
