the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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